On to the learning experience of the week... the MIDDLE FINGER...
Friday we were getting ready to head out for another day with the cousins when I heard Ethan and Isaac fighting in their bedroom and I went in to see if they needed a referee. Ethan (6) had been flashing Isaac the middle finger and Isaac was pretty offended although Ethan didn't understand why, so of course he kept doing it. I tried to explain that it represents a naught word so we don't do it. Just when I thought he got it he would do it again, trying to understand which figures can go up alone and which ones can't.
"Nope. It is naughty so we don't do it."
He burst into tears crying "But I'm not naughty! I'm not naughty!"
"I know, that is why we don't do it."
and we headed off for a fun day. I was naive to think that was the end of it.
Today at church I got pulled from my class by my youngest son's teacher with him in tow. Turns out he was experimenting with the same finger, flashing it around (numerous times by the sound of it. He is turning into quite the show off). He made sure to look pretty dejected but I know to not buy into his sorry act too quickly as I have seen him flash a smile when the person chastising isn't looking. His teacher asked him if he knew what it meant and he said yes, but let's give the kid a break - He's four and his version of knowing what it means is really only that he is not suppose to do it. Of course, that is why it is intriguing.
What you have to understand about Alden is that this boy is quickly mastering the art of misdirection. When he gets hurt he has to go to the bathroom and when he is in trouble he needs a drink. So of course, today, rather than talk about why he is in the hall with his mother and his teacher, he needs a drink.
We established the problem but then, all he would do was cry about that drink that he so desperately needed. I let his teacher head back to her class and Alden and I stayed in the hall to hash out the problem. He could see the water-fountain just down the hall but I wasn't about to budge. Instead we stood there against the wall waiting until he was ready to discuss the problem and not his thirst. We were there a good five minutes although I don't know how long for sure before he finally caved and we had our little talk that established that while he knew not to do it, he doesn't know what it means so why should it result in being naughty.
Me: "We don't say naughty words, right?"
Alden: "Right."
Me: "Well, it means a naughty word so we just don't do it. It is naughty gesture. Okay?"
Alden: "Okay."
Me: "Now you have to fix it". This is my favorite phrase for the kids and there is no mistaking what he needs to do next but he stalls for time. "What are the words?"
Alden: stalling, "I'm ....what's the word?" more stalling... "sorry."
Me: "Alright, let's go see your teacher."
Well, we got to his teacher and he wouldn't say the words so we went out in the hall. His teacher came and tried to talk to him and I was lucky I was behind them because it was all I could do to not laugh out loud. He was still being stubborn so his teacher went back to class and this time he stood with his nose to the wall, with only an occasionally cry about being thirsty. His class walked by to head into Primary and on he stood. Finally he said he was ready again.
We went in and he apologized to his teacher but I didn't hear it cause he whispered it in to her ear. She heard it and that is what matters.
Me: "And what are we not going to do anymore?"
Alden: pointed to third finger on his closed fist.
I felt like that had been a job well done so I went to leave and I heard from him... "But I'm THIRSTY!"
Me: "Sorry Pal. You should have cracked a long time ago because you have to sit with your class now."
and I left. Yep, I'm a mean mom like that.
I got back to my class just in time for it to be over.
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